Christmas In Love: A Greenbank Holiday Romance (Greenbank Holiday Romances Book 1) Page 7

  By the time they had cones in hand, his family was throwing away their many paper bowls and napkins. Gregory and Noah came over to stand by him, and his mom smiled over their heads. “Thanks for your help tonight, Cade—and you, too, Natalie!”

  He nodded, Nat smiled, and they ushered the boys out to the car.

  The short drive to his parents’ was loud.

  Occasionally, he caught Nat grinning at some random comment either of the boys made about superheroes, legos, or mud. Then he had to stop himself from grinning stupidly at her and focus on the road.

  This was what he’d thought his future would be like, and for a while, he’d thought it would be with Nat. The two of them coming home from a family outing, kids acting like crazy people in the backseat, them just enjoying their antics.

  They pulled to a stop at his parents. “Mind if we take them in?”

  “Sure.” She seemed a little unsure as she got out, but followed him to the door.

  “Cade! Natalie! I’d hoped you’d come in and play.”

  “Mom, what—” But his mother had already grabbed their hands and was dragging them back into the house. Noah and Gregory disappeared down the hall.

  “Natalie, you remember everyone?”

  “Um, yes. Hi.” She did a little half wave that looked more like she was trying to swat a fly. Her cheeks were pink when she met his eyes; she chewed the corner of her mouth.

  Sorry, he mouthed.

  “Hey, Natalie, Cade, come sit. You can be on our team.” Abby scooted closer to her husband, leaving half the couch open. They had to squeeze to both fit. Cade wasn’t complaining.

  And then his mom was explaining the rules to charades. And Nat was nodding along, the tension slowly easing from her frame as everyone continued on as if they always played family games with Cade and his ex-girlfriend.

  “I’ll go first!” Brooke jumped up, turning to her husband and parents who made up their team.

  “You have sixty seconds,” Abby said, pulling out her phone. “And... go!”

  Brooke made a grab for the bowl filled with small papers. She read, then dropped the paper to the ground, immediately curving her arms out to the side. Then she mimed something above her head. Cade was glad he wasn’t on her team.

  “I think she’s a snowman,” Nat murmured in his ear. Her breath was warm, and he physically repressed the tingle that tried to climb up his spine.

  “Snowman!” Mom yelled.

  Brooke nodded and moved to the next paper. Nat raised her eyebrows at him with pride.

  When it was their turn, Cade pushed Nat to a stand. “Nat is great at this game.”

  He expected her to freeze, glare at him, or demure. But instead, she wrinkled her nose teasingly. “Compared to Cade, anyone would be good at this game.”

  Everyone laughed, and it was as if the four years between them was suddenly gone. For the first time, a joke at his expense didn’t feel like a deficit of himself personally. Somehow, it made him feel cared for. This was how it was meant to be. Nat completed him. And with her here, his family felt complete too.

  “Ready... go!”

  Cade brought his mind to the present and watched as Nat read a small paper. She tapped her nose, then spread her hands out, thumbs against her temples.

  “It’s Cade!” Brooke yelled, laughing at the goofy picture Nat made.

  “You’re not supposed to be guessing,” he yelled back at the same time that Abby called out “Rudolf!”

  Nat grabbed a new piece of paper, laughing along with everyone else. “You were so close, Brooke,” she teased as she scanned the next prompt. They guessed candy cane correctly, then star.

  She looked directly at him after reading the next paper. Her hands jutted out, giving the impression that she had a large belly. Then she ran her hands over an invisible beard. Cade had it.

  “Mr. Clarke!” He called out. Everyone looked confused.

  “Times up!” Brooke called. “That last one was clearly Santa.”

  “I know,” Cade laughed.

  “I think we should still get the point,” Nat added as she sat back beside him. He put his arm around her, and she didn’t pull away. “He knew exactly who I was talking about—one of the guests at the B&B.”

  “But he didn’t say Santa.”

  “True,” Nat grinned. “But once you see Mr. Clarke, you’ll agree that he and Santa are one and the same.”

  “Then we will keep your point on probation.” Brooke winked.

  Nat laughed.

  His mom got up to take a turn, and they played until the kids’ movie ended and it was bedtime. Their team lost by three points, which was entirely Cade’s fault. He’d taken two turns, both without a single point earned. The second time he’d sat down, Nat had playfully pinched him in the side—requesting a partner exchange. It had taken every ounce of willpower not to bend and kiss her laughing mouth.

  “It was so great to see you again Natalie,” his mom said as they made for the door. She gave Cade a peck on the cheek, then hugged Nat. “Come back soon, okay?” She said after they parted.

  Nat’s smile was suspiciously wobbly. He didn’t miss her lack of response though. Clearly, despite the near-perfect night, she still had walls up.

  They walked to the car, him keeping his hands in his pockets to refrain from reaching for hers.

  As he eased out of the driveway, he turned to her. “Thanks for hanging with us tonight. I know it wasn’t what you had planned.”

  She smiled over at him. “It was better than what I’d planned.”

  He stopped at a red light. The picture he’d visualized earlier, of them with a car-full of kids driving home from an activity, resurfaced. It was stronger now, after the time with his family.

  “So, how was the first half of the date?” he asked. He must have sadistic leanings, to bring that up.

  “Meh.”

  Promising.

  “I’m sorry.”

  “I’m not,” Nat smiled over at him, her elbow resting on the lip of the window. “Honestly, he wasn’t my ideal date anyways. I think he tried to ask the waitress for her number. Idiot.”

  Seriously? “He is.”

  “Huh?”

  They reached another stoplight, and Cade turned to her. “An idiot. Any guy that doesn’t see you as the catch you are, is an idiot.”

  “Thanks.” It was one simple word, but the sincerity it was delivered with made it a lot more than that. Could she be considering what he was? A future with them together in it?

  “So, what did you think of my nephews?”

  She seemed a little thrown off, but not unhappy with the change in subject. “They’re hilarious. They must keep their parents busy,” she laughed.

  The light turned green and they started driving again. The picture of their future wouldn’t leave. Before he knew it, he was voicing his inner thoughts. “I always thought that would be our life.”

  The air in the car seemed to still.

  “What would?” she asked, her voice strained.

  “You and I. Together. Our own kids in the back of the car.” Just saying the words out loud made Cade’s heart thud faster than it had when they’d been unable to find Aiden. Just this last week with Nat had been better than any week in the four years they’d been apart. He didn’t want to lose this chance.

  Nat took in a quick breath. He glanced at her; she stared out the windshield with a guarded expression.

  Crap.

  She didn’t say anything.

  Then, thanks to his sadistic tendencies, he opened his idiotic mouth again. “I always thought you and I would have pretty cute kids.”

  “I don’t really want to talk about that right now,” she said quietly. He glanced over to see her swipe a hand under her eye. His gut clenched.

  He pulled the car into park behind the bed and breakfast. Anticipating Nat’s escape, he jumped from the car.

  She didn’t bother putting her coat on—just grabbed it and slung her purse over her shoulder
then started to walk past him.

  He’d made enough dumb moves in the last five minutes; he should have left it at that. But he couldn’t. It was like he’d opened a Pandora’s box of questions, and one was burning with particular insistence now.

  “Why, Nat? Why’d you leave?”

  She stopped but didn’t look at him. “Forget it, Cade. It’s in the past.”

  “But it’s not!” The words were louder than he’d meant, but the need to know couldn’t be contained any more. Four years of wondering had finally broken the dam.

  “Yes, it is.” Her quiet words were a stark contrast to his.

  “No. Because I want a future, Nat. With you. I never stopped wanting a future. A wedding, a family, everything.” He couldn’t stop the words once they started.

  “We can’t, Cade!” Finally, she looked at him, and the pain that swam behind glossy eyes caused him to take a step back. “It’s impossible. I’m sorry—really, I am. We had a great night. I’ve missed you and your family. But please, let’s not bring things up that aren’t worth talking about.”

  As abruptly as she’d looked at him, she turned and left. She didn’t run, she walked steadily into the bed and breakfast, but with a finality that made him feel like his heartline had just plateaued. In his ears, he imagined he heard the beep of the machine that signaled to the world someone’s life had just ended.

  Except, in this case, Cade had to keep living.

  Unfortunately, someone—someone with deep auburn hair, blue eyes that danced in amusement or glared in frustration, and a tenacity of spirit that made him crazy—had just taken his heart with her. How did a person live without that?

  Chapter 10

  Natalie

  “Beth, thanks again.” Natalie struggled to keep her voice steady as she glanced over her shoulder. Cade would come through those doors at any moment, and she couldn’t face him again. “Will you email me whatever you need signed for the community service?”

  Beth looked surprised but nodded slowly. “Of course. Do you need anything else before I head home?”

  “Nope.” Natalie was already inching towards the kitchen. Towards solitude. She paused, forcing herself to think outside her pain, “Beth?”

  “Uh-huh?” The girl was pushing books into her backpack and zipping it up.

  “Drive safe, okay? Text me when you’re home?”

  Beth smiled up at her, straightening and slinging the bag over her shoulder. “Of course.”

  “Thanks.”

  Beth nodded, then made for the door. Natalie was already turned toward the kitchen when the bell above the door jingled.

  “Oh, hi.”

  Natalie groaned inwardly at Beth’s voice. Could she make it to her room without having to interact with Cade? She took a step.

  “Hi... Beth, right?” The door was only feet in front of her—if she could get there.

  A giggle. Then, “yeah.” Apparently, Beth was as affected by Cade as she was.

  She stepped closer to the door, her fingers crossing beneath the heavy coat slung over her arm.

  “Hey, Nat? Can I have a sec?”

  Natalie froze. Caught.

  “Bye.”

  “Bye, Beth.”

  The door jingled again, and footsteps sounded behind Natalie. They were slow and deliberate and gave Natalie plenty of time to walk away if she wanted to.

  But some part of her—a growing part—didn’t want to. She hadn’t enjoyed walking away from him outside. She didn’t have the strength to do it again.

  Somehow, without her even realizing, Cade had broken through her defenses.

  He stopped behind her, waiting.

  And, as if he were a magnet, she turned around.

  His expression was guarded. But he’d followed her even after what she’d said outside. When he spoke, his voice was low, uncertain.

  “I’m not asking you to tell me everything—I won’t. Not now. Not ever, if you don’t want to.” His eyes narrowed slightly as if searching for the truth she’d long ago buried, “but know that you can talk to me, Nat. You can always talk to me.”

  Then, with a touch so light she might have imagined it except for the heat it left, he bent and grazed her cheek with his lips.

  After a lingering look, he turned and walked up the stairs.

  She barely made it into her room before the tears started falling. With shaking hands, she closed the door and slid against it to the floor.

  Why did he have to come back when she was finally settling into this life? Why did he have to come back and show her everything she was missing? Make her fall for him just as hard as before?

  All her defenses were crumbling. They were barely more than rubble at this point. The thought that he couldn’t want her if he knew the truth tumbled to the floor. Next to it fell the time her mom had taken Natalie’s face in her hands and reassured her she’d done the right thing in breaking up with Cade. “Men don’t want broken women. You have to leave them before they leave you.” Her mom certainly knew how to do that well.

  Even the long-ago conversation with Cade that had sealed her determination to end things was crumbling. Because she’d seen the look in his eyes tonight. She’d heard him say he wanted a future.

  Her arms wrapped around her middle as she folded in half. Salty tears spilled over her cheeks.

  She wanted to tell him everything, but she wasn’t brave enough. Deep down she knew that, just as important as she might be to him, was his desire to have a family. To have his own children.

  And Natalie couldn’t do that. Natalie physically could not have kids, and she wouldn’t make him choose between her and kids of his own.

  ***

  April was quieter over the next few days. She didn’t tease Natalie about Cade or push her for another date. Though that last one might be because her date had kissed her at the end of the night and it was, apparently, the worst kiss she’d ever had. Like kissing a frozen fish.

  So, both April and Natalie were taking a break in the dating department. April didn’t even ask about her night with Cade—seeming to know something had happened with them and waiting until Natalie was ready to talk about it.

  But Natalie wasn’t ready to talk about it. So, she spent her days buried in work; updating the website, sending emails to former clients for reviews, even cleaning out that back storage closet filled with odds and ends from the previous owners. She also booked one more room—and did a little happy dance after.

  Any time not spent at the inn was spent at the hotel, finalizing things for the carnival.

  She was never there at the same time as Cade—she made sure of that—but she knew he’d been there to help, because everyone and their dog seemed to be in love with him. She heard about him from the Christensen’s and how he’d helped them take apart their snow globe float and turn it into a photo booth. Phil and Mary Thompson seemed to be ready to adopt him after he drove back to Woodcastle to pick up the puppies they’d be borrowing for their booth—which was essentially a bunch of dogs dressed up as reindeer in a sort of adorable, mini petting zoo.

  Even April mentioned how helpful he’d been. And instead of being mad about any of it, Natalie was happy. Any bit of conversation about Cade that didn’t require her to talk was heavenly.

  Which should have been more annoying than relieving, but Natalie no longer had control over her emotions.

  And, as if all of that wasn’t enough to keep him in her mind, he kept ‘showing up’ in the strangest places. None of it broke his promise to wait until she was ready to talk, but all of it kept him at the forefront of her thoughts: A cinnamon roll sitting outside her door one day, a stuffed Santa by her check in computer, a ‘safe driver’ bumper sticker mysteriously on the back of her car, and more. It was clouding her ability to think, as she continually looked for the little momentos.

  Christmas Eve and the day of the Carnival finally arrived. She got there four hours early, intending complete focus on the Carnival, not on how much she missed Cade al
ready. Thirty-seven booths, over two-hundred strands of lights, and enough candy to make a dentist sue them, had all come together in the most fantastic display.

  “Natalie, where’s the mistletoe booth?”

  “Fifth from the end on the left side.” She checked off the mistletoe as Cindy scurried away carrying fresh bunches to hang.

  “Are you sure we have enough candy canes, Natalie? I’ll send my husband for more.” Mrs. Foster seemed determined to find something wrong with the night, but Natalie was determined nothing at all would be wrong. It was perfect.

  “We have a ton more in the prep room if we need them. Oh, I see the guys are here with the snow machine—will you help them set it up by the North Pole scene?” Natalie smiled at Mrs. Foster, though it felt a little tight.

  “I don’t see why we’re paying those men to set it up if they need my help,” the old lady grumbled, but Natalie didn’t miss the satisfied smile on her face as she stomped off.

  “Can I help with anything?”

  Natalie jumped at Cade’s appearance. He was wearing a dark green sweater and dark wash jeans with nice shoes. The sight of him was too much, especially after days of radio silence. Those shoulders. The eyes.

  She took a small step backward. “You know, I think we’re doing okay. The snow machine was the last to-do on my list, so I’m just going to go change. My clothes. Into my elf costume. Because I’m an elf. Because... never mind.”

  His grin was struggling to remain hidden, and Natalie’s cheeks warmed. She was an idiot.

  “Need any help?”

  Her eyes widened. “Changing? No, I think I’m okay on that count.”

  He grinned. “I meant with elf stuff. I can be an elf too if you need.”

  “The costumes are all for girls.”

  “Well, I never said I would be a PG elf.”

  Against her own will, she laughed, shaking her head. “We’re alright, thanks.” She looked around for April, but she was nowhere to be found. “I’m just going to go then...”

  Acting as if she were the Grinch slinking from the room, she made her escape.

  Thirty minutes later, she was wearing a green elf dress and taking names for Santa—aka, Mr. Clarke, who’d been more than happy to play the part for the night. From her spot in the middle back of the massive room, she saw everything. The place was packed, and everyone seemed to be enjoying themselves. A feeling of pride filled Natalie’s chest as she watched the crowd mingling, playing, and treating themselves to delicious food and treats.